Can I Be Any More Awkward?

So, there's a boy... It's always a boy...
This particular boy is adorable, and funny, and always makes me laugh. Last week he invited me to do a movie night with him. I'm not even going to pretend like I wasn't freaking out, because I was. This little girl doesn't even begin to cover how excited I was.

During the week I would tell people I was watching a movie with a boy on Friday and they would inevitably ask, "Is it a date?" To which I would respond,

"How do you not know?" 

"Well, there might be other people there, I just don't know! It doesn't matter! He INVITED me to a movie night!!!!!" And then I would gush about it for a while longer.

Friday night arrives and I am beyond excited. I go over to his apartment and it turns out there are other people, but do I mind? You got it, nope! Before the movie even starts the group is standing around in his kitchen and he keeps making eye contact with me and sharing little jokes and I'm just deliriously happy.

But, I also want to get this started and so does he, so he grabs the movie and goes into the living room and I follow him with the popcorn. There are two couches, a love seat and a three cushion couch. He plops down right smack in the middle of the 3 cushion couch and solves my problem of figuring out where to sit.

We looked a little like this couple and halfway through the movie I realize that I'm analyzing his every move trying to find some hidden message and I have to tell myself to STOP! I shifted positions and every time I did it took me closer to the edge of my cushion, but I never crossed over the line. The whole movie, whenever he shifted positions he stayed right smack dab in the middle of the cushion. I cursed the fact that everyone either wanted to be on the floor or the other couch. Why can't we all just pack in like sardines? It would be perfect!

The movie ends and he heads back into the back rooms of the apartment. Needless to say I was a lottle disappointed. Luckily the entire group except my best friend and me leave the apartment. I take my time gathering my things. Suddenly, my best friend points out his phone just sitting there on the couch. She and I have always been pranksters so we gather up his phone and start devising a plan of attack when we hear his voice in the kitchen. We immediately go to the door way trying our best to look like this:

but end up looking more like this:

He was immediately suspicious and I couldn't handle the pressure so I just held out his phone as I blurted, "We didn't have time." My friend cracks up laughing. The three of us chat for a couple more minute before she makes her way out and saying, "Come say goodbye before you leave." (She lives in the same complex he does).

Just how am I supposed to get him to walk me to my car a block away if I have to come visit you!?

The boy and I talked for a good half hour before he had yawned enough (twice, for the record), and I felt better for the awkward movie experience because we had been nonstop laughing for those thirty minutes, that I slowly said my goodbyes. 

I ran over to my friends apartment and could only talk to her for a couple minutes before telling her of my foiled plans. She immediately grabbed my arm and dragged me back to his apartment before knocking on the door and walking away. It was torture standing there at his door for those 30 seconds. Then, his roommate answered and said, "Yes?" Really? I am NOT saying, "Oh, I just want your roommate to walk me to my car..." Instead, I replied, "Nothing,

" and ran screaming back to my friend's apartment. Yes, I did straight up scream in his face before I ran. Along the way I said out loud, "I hate you! I hate you!" My friend stood in her doorway waiting for me with the food I'd brought over earlier. She handed it to me and said, "Love you."

"No you don't!" I harrumphed, and I walked back past the boy's door. His roommate was still standing in the doorway and as I passed said, "What's up?"

"Nothing" I mumble. All the while making awkward squeaks and grunts from embarrassment. 

"It'll be easier if you just start."

"Umm, squeak, grunt... Where's your roommate?"

"What?"

"Where's your roommate?" I hissed.

"Do you want me to get him?"

 (:17will reveal exactly how I sounded)

I pulled a Fat Amy and he said, "Let me go get him."

I thought I was going to pass out. It took 2 whole minutes before the boy came to the door. Two whole minutes!!! The entirety of which I ran through possible explanations of why I had come back in my head and debated just leaving and never coming back... Ever.

Finally the boy appeared and the doorway with a quizzical brow and I blurted,

"I'll give you hummus if you walk me to my car so I don't get dismembered by Ted Bundy." Holding out my hummus to him like it's a gift to forgo my execution.

With no hesitation he said, "Deal, let me get my shoes." Woah, really? Just like that? Ok... Ok... I can do this.

When he got back I pointed out his spider friend just making a web on the railing just outside the door before we headed off to my car. The entire time both of us were just going off each other back and forth and he had the cutest grin on his face and I'm sure I looked like this:

We finally got to my car and I gave over the promised hummus. We talked for a little while longer and said a slightly awkward goodbye. I didn't know if I should hug him or not so I just said, "Bye, thank you for walking me to my car. Don't die."
"I'll say hello to Ted Bundy for you."

"Haha" and turned around and opened my car. Then I got in and had some serious words with myself, mostly about how ridiculous and awkward that was. But really, could it have been any more awkward? Or perfect? 

Messy

Dating is messy any way you slice it. It's like an ooey gooey piece of cake with caramel and chocolate sauce drizzled on top and you have to eat it with your hands. Depending on the slice, it might have a little too much baking power... Causing it to errupt in your mouth in a semi-unpleasant way. Or it might have too much salt... And be a little too off flavor. Sometimes it has to much flour and the other tastes don't show through because the cake is just too bland. Or it's too rich and you can't eat it all at once. Or maybe it's too crumbly and it's slipped through your fingers before you've even had a proper taste.The goal in scarfing down these decadent pieces of cake is not greed, but a hungering for the perfect piece where all the lumps were made smooth and the perfect amount of every ingredient has been mixed together.
I found a slice that seems to have been made by the world's most meticulous baker and I think I might have dropped it on the ground. In my defense, the previous piece seemed like perfection until I got to the middle and then it was like a mix of all the wrong, bitter, surprising flavors and I had to stop eating. So it is understandable that my hands are shaky and uncertain. I just hope that I can scoop it up and make it work, if not, well, then I've learned to be more confident in the slices I chose. I am learning to spot the choices slices and I'm getting better and better at it.
Ah cake. :)

Addictions, more than the physical.

Can you really be addicted to a song? I submit that you absolutely can. I love songs! But there is one song in particular that has caught my fancy and held me enthralled for most of the day.



Ok, so the video is really weird, but the music? Incredible, the melody? Enthralling, his voice? So hypnotic... Sigh, I am addicted to a song! I am ADDICTED TO A SONG!
Now all I need to do is get help for it....
But where do I even start????
P.S. I found this on Facebook, a friend shared it. I blame him for my obession. Yep, I am totally passing the buck. :)

Frog Dating - A delicacy

I love my job. Today I had the best conversation about dating I have ever had.
Me: "Jared, can we be friends forever?"
Jared (the funniest kid I've ever met sitting two chairs away to my left who has made me guffaw at least 12 times in the past 2 days): "Sure!"
Dahlin (sitting one chair to my right who is also hilarious): "Hmmm? Yeah?" While gesturing with his eyes toward Jared.
Me: "No..."
Dahlin: "I don't think you are getting my point."
Me: "No, I got it, that was my answer... No..."
Dahlin: "Could you be more specific? I'm not very good at guessing."
Me: "I was answering your question."
Dahlin: "Which question?"
Me: "The one you were asking."
Dahlin: Something about happiness sitting two chairs away.
Me: "We already discussed this, I'm not interesting in trying that right now."
Dahlin: "I have eaten frog in my life..."
Me: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Dahlin: "It didn't look like anything that I would want to try eating, but when I did try it, it was the best thing in the world."
Me: "I've tried frog before and it has made me very sick."
Dahlin & Me: "Stomach ache? Food Poisoning!"
Jared: "YOU GOT FOOD POISONING FROM TRYING FROG????"
Me (trying very hard to get the words past my bouts of laughter): "Yep, and it was a very unpleasant experience."
Jared: "WHY WOULD YOU EAT FROG! You should never try frog again."
Me (gesturing toward Jared but talking to Dahlin): "SEE! You see what I'm saying?!"
Jared: "We have to get you away from your addictions where you will never eat frog again. Maybe in the desert, Oh wait, there's toads... The Amazon! Where the frogs are poisonous so if you eat one you die! So you can either give in to your addiction and die or your addiction will over come you and take you down!"
Me: "Right!"
Dahlin: "You could at least try frog again."
Me: "The last frog I tried was a bad experience, it..."
Dahlin: "Hopped away?"
Me: "With half of me along with it. But I do nibble."
Dahlin: "I think you'd better explain 'nibbling.'"
Me: "No physical contact just dating for fun."
Dahlin: "No hugs or high fives???"
Me: "Yes, high fives... and hugs at the end."
Dahlin: "I once took a girl on a date and she didn't give me a hug or a high five, she just walked right into her door."
Oh work, I actually look forward to you every day. :)

Job Search/Hunt/Survival-of-the-Fittest/Fight-to-the-Death!

So, I had a job interview this morning! I think it went well. :) But, competition here in Utah is a little bit more intense than the small town of Kingman. Mostly because it is a college town and the people here are very competitive. So fingers crossed that I made it!
I applied for a company called Orange Soda Internet Marketing. They make your website among the first options to pop up after a search. Here is their logo. Check 'em out sometime.

 And here is what this company makes me think of, and even what they decorate with!

Their tag line is "marketing with fizz"

Stories

I'm really glad my mother and I are so alike because we are anything but normal and it's nice to have an abnormal partner in my abnormalities.
The abnormality I'd like to talk about today is ... stories. Not the regular, sit down read a book story, but the story you make up on the spot after some small event that in your story could be hugely life changing. Like I said, hardly normal. It could be a look, or a phone call, or a text, or a simple phrase someone says or you would like someone to say, or a shoe, a book, a song, a hairstyle, an off-hand comment, an animal, a sunset, a full-moon, a half-moon, a quarter-moon, a new moon, a rude person, an over friendly person, a strange noise, a pleasant noise, an awful smell, a bland smell... I really could go on. I love to make up stories about my life that could possibly happen even if they don't. Not all the stories I make up are happy, but they all keep me highly entertained. Most are happy and almost all have me triumphing or being on top. I can be the kind of person I want to be in these stories, witty, clever, sweet, tough, capable, confident, kind, desirable, sharp, lucky, skilled. I guess that's what I love so much about writing stories. I don't think I've finished a 10th of the stories I write, but I love to capture a perfect moment in time. I write my destiny and other people do what I want them to in my stories.
But, I do love real life, wouldn't it be boring if you knew what was going to happen and when? I still write my destiny, but I always am interested in how other people shape it.

Journals

I am horrible at keeping journals, the best I've done is the past five months in one journal. I was pretty consistent and now, I just don't really remember... Or I don't have much to write about. Same holds true with my blog here. Or, the things I want to write about are just too personal to post online but I'm so busy throughout the day that I forget to write them down before I pass out on my pillow. I try to keep myself busy because it keeps me from thinking. Luckily I've been pretty successful. I mostly just can't wait until I get back to BYU and out of Kingman. It will be so much better.

In Whom Do You Trust

In whom do you trust? In whom do you trust? In whom do you trust? In whom do you trust? Any way you ask me that question I know my answer.

Ungrateful? Maybe a Little

I'll be honest, I have been a straight up whiner lately. You'd think being married would make me less of a whiner, but no, I whine about everything now. Sad, just sad. I realized yesterday that I have been way too focused on myself. Yep, you heard me, I'm selfish, and ungrateful. I have not been as grateful to my husband as I should be, especially because he puts up with my whining (to a point). Luckily he has started calling me on it and I am now taking steps to overcome my addiction to whining and self-centered-ness.
First off I would like to give a shout out to my hubby, Bryan. He is so good to me, I ask him to do something and he does it, I ask him not to do something and he doesn't do it, I ask like a moron and he simply laughs and tells me cute (I'm beginning to think he is really saying I'm cute the way a puppy chewing on slippers is cute...), I forget that he doesn't like most of the foods in existence and he forgives me, he lets me cry all over his shirts (but draws the line at snot), he protects me from my rash decisions (such as buying that extra bag of chips, one of the number one weight gaining foods), he patiently teaching me things I want to learn but hate being terrible at (case in point: bowling on Saturday, I made him play three straight games in a row where he taught me how to bowl properly. My thighs are now protesting so loudly I still limp up the stairs and my score declined rapidly from 89 to 32, oops). But most of all he loves me for reasons that I know but still can't seem to understand.
Secondly, I would like to tell you about a small miracle that happened in my life today. As you know I work with special ed children, well today I thought I was experienced enough to handle one of our problem children. Ha! My bad, he was all over the place and finally ended up grabbing at me and got a good hold on my shirt collar (luckily it was a t-shirt) and gave it a yank. In that fistful he also had my necklace and when he pulled something broke in the back of it. I was upset because I really liked the necklace, but I put it in my pocket and pried his hands off me before I was rescued by another assistant. Later as I examined it, I found that one of the chains was just open wide enough for the other link to slip out. So I slipped it back in, no harm done. Then I realized if that chain piece hadn't opened the boy I was working with could have done some serious damage to my neck. You can bet I said a little prayer of thanks right then.
I will let you know how my selfish and whining detox goes. Wish me luck! Be sure to have fun this week, Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year!

Magical

A short (but sweet) addition to the previous post.

I don't think I added a very important part to my post. The bouquet and garter toss! Well, Erin caught the bouquet and Evan, her boyfriend, caught the garter. I wonder if he didn't work it out on purpose... It is definitely something he would do... Anyway.

For all you doubters out there that believe it doesn't work. Exactly a week and a day from the reception I got a text from Erin telling me that Evan had proposed. MAGIC! It works!

Tell your friends.

Tribute to the Silent Heros

As my boss stated so perfectly this morning about working with special ed. "If you don't love it, you don't belong." You either love, or you hate working with special children. They are demanding, exhausting, frustrating, adorable, sweet, surprising, and always something new.

As any teacher I already have a few of my favorites.

One boy who drives me up the wall, but always surprises me with how smart he is. I finally have gotten him to listen to me. Favorite moments with him. "I'm bored." (one of his favorite things to say)

"Find something to do, help with the puzzle, play a game, or play on the wii."

He wandered into the corner and pretty soon everyone was ignoring him. (He's very dramatic and loves attention so we ignore his attention grabbing behavior). "I found a stick and I'm going to break it in half." Then after no one responds. "OW! I cut my hand! Ah, my hand! I cut it! It stings!" "How did you do that?" "I broke a stick." This kid is a high functioning kid, he doesn't need to be babysat. The stick he grabbed was pretty thick, we all had assumed it was a twig he had picked up. Guess he won't be doing that again. One of the aids fixed it up for him and he started playing wii. Half an hour later he was still saying sporadically. "Ow, my hand. I cut it." Ah, that boy. Another of his favorite sayings is, "Haha, sucks for you!" and "I'm gonna get in a fight at the park." and "I'm moving to Phoenix." (Which he never does. Shame).

Another of my favorites is an autistic girl who looooooovvvveeesss colors. When you wear the same color shirt she does, here's the response you get, "Gasp!... Gasp!... Blue!... We're the blue shirt girls!... Yes we are."

She loves her coffee too. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Gasp!" then very calmly, "yes."

"Do you wanna do a crossword puzzle?"

"Gasp!... yes."

"Do you want to help with the puzzle?"

"Gasp!... yes. On the white table? In the blue chair? Yes." "He's being silly in the blue chair. ... Yes he is. ... He does that. ... Yeah, he does that." Ah, precious, precious girl.

One kid forever gets on all the teachers' and the aides' nerves. "Sit down." "Let us handle that." "What did I just tell you?" "Don't talk when someone else is talking." "Please talk in a normal voice." "SIT." "SHH!" "SIT DOWN." "What did I JUST say?" It takes a lot of patience not to grind your teeth when you see him walk in the classroom.

One of my other favorites is a lower functioning girl who LOVES to sing. "Bad boys, bad boys..." and she wants you to finish it. She loves Backstreet Boys, Christmas and Broadway songs. "Hit the road Jack.... Hit the road firedrill... hit the road chair... hit the road (insert whatever she thinks of at that moment." "Can I have a scratch?" She loves being scratched. And the fair.

There really is a lot to love about these kids. They are sweet spirits and most of them are a shoo-in for the celestial kingdom. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to work with these spunky hilarious kids.

Favorite moment of today. "Bye ______, have fun at math." WHAM! Down goes one chair. "Bye ______." WHAM! Down goes another. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! He really didn't want to go to math. Luckily the kids had already cleared out. So, I ignored him. WHAM! One last chair before he left. Bye _____

A Little Different

I noticed that a few of my friends started out their most recent posts with apologies for neglecting their blogs. :) I understand as I have not been as attentive as I should to my own.

I am getting married in a day less than two weeks.

Answers to frequently asked questions:

Yes, I am crazy excited and a tiny bit nervous.

Yes, I realize it is a huge change and I am enormously excited to tackle the challenge. I love challenge because it means I get to grow and become better.

We are going to live where we are now because we both have jobs here.

The wedding plans are coming along just as they should and I have had very little stress to deal with (minus the initial not wanting to make decisions stress).

His father is officiating the ceremony as he is a Justice of the Peace.

We will be getting seal in the Draper Temple within the year.

He is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and I do love him more than life itself.

I am 21, he is 29. Nope, I don't think I'm too young and I don't think that is too big of an age gap.

We met through a mutual friend and just sparked it off a little while later.

I am getting married literally across the country because that is where his family is, and it is so much prettier in New York than it is in Arizona in the Fall.

Another change that has happened is that I'm an aunt! My younger brother has gone to college. My dear friend from college is getting married in a little more than a month. I found a job at the high school. I am more comfortable with myself now than I have ever been. My almost sister (we're practically family anyway) moved away to go to college two hours away, not too bad if you ask me. I will be moving out of my parent's house for the last time.

All of these changes are good and I am glad they are happening. I especially love my job even though it makes me grind my teeth and wish smacking were legal in schools. I tip my hat to all those who work with special education and thrive on it. You are amazing super humans and you are underappreciated. But that is a post for another time. I promise I will be better.

A New Interest

I don't know why but I have taken a sudden interest in how I and other people work. I've been checking out books that help me learn this. One book in particular has snagged my attention for the past few weeks.

This book is absolutely FASCINATING! I love it! It's like he knows everything about me and how I work. It's crazy. And although it's not doctrine or anything, it's pretty cool!

For most of my life I have been yellow. Straight up, purely crazy yellow.

Fun-lovin, carefree, guiltless, innocent, trusting, naive, attention-seeking, spotlight-grabbing, people-loving, party-harding, impulsive, cheerful, crazy. All very yellow things. But lately, some other colors have been catching up to me.

White, for instance is trying to crowd out my yellow.

timid, peacemaker, nonverbal, good listener, loyal, easygoing, forgiving, goes with the flow, silently stubborn, doesn't volunteer feelings or opinion, content.

I don't feel a need to run out and be the center of attention. I've become shy with people I don't know and I don't take the aggressive step in getting to know them that I used to. I don't voice my opinions that perhaps someone should let down their hair a little cuz they are coming across as a little crazy. I'm more passive, but still just as fun loving and sometimes my yellow peeks out and says, "Hey! Remember me? Remember all the crazy fun times we had? Let's do it again!"

Even the blue part of my personality is becoming more apparent.

easily guilted, manipulating (only a little bit for me), emotional, concerned for others,

Little to no red is even part of my personality. That seems to have died away.

Seriously, go read this book. I have learned so much and I greatly enjoy it. You won't see people the same again.

If Stressed

Is desserts spelled backward, why doesn't it taste good? I remember hearing a quote once about stress, "I tried yoga, but I found stress less boring."

I've been dealing with a great deal of stress lately. It seemed like every day brought more stress to rain down on me and laugh at me. Rude. But, yesterday and today have taken a turn for the better. Yesterday my professor decided to give us a pop quiz final, and not make us come in for the scheduled one. So nice, especially because it was one of the finals that caused me a great deal of grief. Whew. And today? you ask... I finished my take home final which was analyzing a play (110 pages) full, detailed analysis. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Destress.... it's good for you

Someday

Someday. That's a dangerous word. It's really just a code for 'never'. (Knight and Day)

I really don't like the word someday.

New Favorite

So, partway through the end of my class a headache decides to rear its ugly head. Then during work it gets worse and worse until I am forced to leave because I am having trouble even thinking. Luckily for me I had to get some food items for dinner group and I picked up a bag of on sale valentine candy. Chocolate. I had a few pieces and wham-O! Bye-bye headache. New favorite medicine? Chocolate.

Sometimes I Just Gotta....

Katherine asked me if I wanted to go to a concert last night. Sure, why not, I wasn't doing anything else. Little did either of us know the night would be filled with awkward amusement...

The concert was held in the Tanner Building with the choirs singing on the stairs. As you can see there were lots and lots of people.

So Katherine and I decided to take the elevator rather than force our way through the myriad of humans cluttering the stairs. I don't like elevators, I never really have, they make me sick. So, I got in and struck a pose, basically like I was guarding the elevator from people attempting to enter it. It kind of helped my elevator sickness, but to be honest, I just felt like being awkward.

We exited one floor below the entrance, noted that there were no seats and made our way back to the elevator. One girl entered it with us and was kind enough to allow me to leap onto the elevator and resume my pose until we reached the next floor.

Not much luck on this floor either, silly people who save seat they aren't even close too... But we made our way from the stairs to the open space and into the hall. I was feeling restless... Never a good sign.

After hearing that the boy Katherine was admiring was an organ major I attempted a tongue roll, (rrrrrr) but it came out rather pathetic so I did it again with a great deal of success. Then I was reenacting the first tongue roll, holding it out for a while. Long enough for one of the boys in front of me to turn slightly, make eye contact, and give me a "you-are-slightly-amusing-weirdo" smile. I promptly gave him my "you-caught-me-being-an-idiot" smile in return until he resumed facing forward. Katherine meanwhile was busting a gut beside me, not helping my image one bit. Whaddyado?

Then I saw this girl taking a picture of her friend and noticed the camera angle was really wide so I lept into the picture frame and made a grotesque face. The girl immediately started cracking up and she showed her friend the picture. When her friend turned around it was none other than our elevator buddy! They laughed for a very long time until Elevator Buddy came out and explained that she had told her friend to take a discrete picture of me because she liked my hair. Glad that worked out.

Shortly after this lovely incident a boy came and stood directly between me and the choir. How rude! Katherine suggested I cough very loudly. So I did, I was hoping it would be more natural sounding than it was... He didn't move. So I coughed again, again trying for the natural sound. Fail. He noticed this time and with a very concerned look on his face moved to the side. Katherine lost all composure. I lost it when I heard her laughing. The boy apologized and I just laughed even harder.

It was at this point in time we left the concert because we couldn't see. Well, that was one reason. Here is a picture of us on the way out. I couldn't for the life of me get her to smile naturally.

Update

I love avoiding homework, don't you? I've got about a million pages to read and write reports on, but here I am keeping you updated on my life.

• I have my first boyfriend that I love. Yes, love, straight up in a non platonic, very romantic way. He is the most amazing fantastic perfect person ever. He is also far too good to me, and makes me the happiest person in the world. I love it. I love him.
• I no longer have a facebook account.
• I am anxiously awaiting the birth of my nephew. Granted it's four months away, but four months is no time at all.
• I am back at BYU and absolutely loving, loving, loving all of my classes and the homework I have to do (even though I am avoiding it, I still love that I have it, it increases my learning)
• I have a job as an appeals secretary in the Harold B. Lee Library and I enjoy it immensely.
• I am living in an apartment two doors down from my old one.
• I have three amazing new roommates who make me laugh more and more each time I am with them.
• I am taking a country western dance class and wheezing for breath every time it's over.
• I am giving a talk in church on Sunday.
• I am eating a hollow chocolate Santa
• I am no longer considering a mission. After long hours of contemplation and prayer I have realized that it simply isn't the right choice for me. And though I am slightly saddened I know I have made the right choice and I don't regret it.

There you are, my life up 'til now. I am so grateful to the Lord for the gospel because it makes me life exciting, ever changing, peaceful and very happy. I am also grateful for the people in my life, I would be nothing without you.

Reasons

Reasons I LOVE my brothers.

Kevin: "Man, my stomach hurt during soccer practice, I was so full from eating all those snacks after giving blood."

Mom: "You're only supposed to have A cookie, A!"

Kevin: "I had to make sure that I replenished all the iron and stuff, You don't want me to pass out do you?!"

Alec: "You should be careful about having too much iron in your blood."

Tegan :"Yeah, you can't get rid of it every month."

Alec: ...

Alec: "I was going to say you don't want Magneto to come after you."

With the flip of a coin

Silly story that I am going to share anyway.

I was standing by the incredibly slow fax machine waiting for a confirmation that the piece of paper I sent had been properly digitized and arrived unscrambled at its destination. In my pocket I had a quarter, in my brain an idea.

"Heads, I like him; tails, we'll stay friends."

Three times in a row. and then...

With a different boy in mind.

"Heads, I like him; tails, just friends."

I think it's a sign. (I would.)

Seriously considering basing crucial life decisions on a quarter now. Ha ha.