Smoking is Bad for You

Yesterday Ian and I started our routine of running every other day. Needless to say I thought I was going to die after four minutes of hardly strenuous exercise. Yes, I do know that I'm pathetic and incredibly out of shape. It was awesome though, I kept running, at points it was minimal movement but I was still kind of jogging. It felt like a vice had crushed my chest and only the tiniest amount of air was getting through. I was supposed to meet Ali at the HFAC so we ran and ended there.

I met Ali and tried my best to calm my breathing but I began freaking out. Ali told me to stop freaking myself out and told me it was mostly mental. I listened to her and battled my rising panic at my lack of breath. I started hyperventilating but managed to get back under control. Ali talked to me the whole way home, taking my mind off my pain and I found it easier to breathe. Thank you so much Ali for saving my life, or at least my sanity.

The rest of the day, and even now my breathing is like that of a chronic smoker and when I laugh it deteriorates into a hacking sickly cough. So depressing.

Seven Peaks had free ice skating for those students in the Honors Program and their friends and I was invited by a friend to come along. A whole group of us went and had a ball! I saw a boy with a name tag and I called out to him.

"Hello Mike B." I smiled and waved and he looked at me like am-I-supposed-to-know-you?

"Hi, How are you?"

"I'm great how are you?" At this point I realized that he thought I knew him. That's when I couldn't refrain myself.

"I'm doing great."

"It's been forever since I've seen you." I was struggling to not laugh

"Yeah. What have you been up to?" I could tell he was trying to figure out where he knew me from.

"I've just been going to school, you know the regular stuff. What about you?"

"Yeah, just been doing the school stuff. What are you majoring in?"

Needless to say we had a great conversation. My group was moving on so I ended with

"It was great to see you again!"

"It was great to see you too." I guess he forgot that he was wearing a name tag. :)

He found me later and introduced me to his friend, trying to get his friend to figure out my name. I laughed and apologized for not knowing him. They both laughed and his friend asked how I knew his name. I pointed to his name tag. We became friends. Mike B. gave me the B. part of his name tag so that I could have a name. Good times, good times.

Livin' off Love

After speaking with my mother last night and my roommates last night and this morning, I came up with this imagery of love. It may be that I've heard it before, it may be that I made it up entirely, but, whatever the case, here it sits.

Humankind stands on the brink of a vast canyon. Each of us live our lives with our toes curled around the edge. Behind us stands a forest, neither dark nor foreboding, simply there. In front of us lies the greatest drop we've ever seen and beyond that lies a vast land full of greenery, fruits, rivers, and flowers. We stand wondering what we need to do to get to the land we see beyond us. Small groups form, debating what the best way would be to get across. Two people, a man and a woman jump from the edge, they fly for quite a ways before he tells her she is holding his hand too tight and they begin bickering. They are no longer able to fly and both plummet toward the rocks below. Cries go up down the line of humanity, some begin weeping. Another couple launches themselves off the edge and this time they make it to the land beyond with out quibbling. They land gracefully and begin wandering around and looking at all the wonderous sights. Wonder and awe fills the people standing on the ledge. The couple below pick themselves back up and take hands again, they begin to soar again and though they fall back down many times, they pick themselves back up and make it to the other side.

A man flings himself off the edge, trying to reach the other side alone. He falls as soon as his feet leave the earth. Battered and bruised, he picks himself up but cannot seem to go anywhere but back. He climbs and reaches the rest of humanity again.

Some people panic and run into the forest, I am one of them. The forest is safe and has what I need to sustain myself, alone, I don't need anyone to help me. Every once in a while I run back to the edge and gaze longingly into the land beyond. Many times someone comes up to me and offers to take me there. Even though I know that two can make it together I've seen too many people fall to the rocks below and some never make it back up. They choose to stay down among the rocks because they can't be hurt again if they are already on the ground. I don't want to be one of those people. I retreat into the forest each time, never taking a hand.

This last time though, someone approaches me with honesty and confidence in his eyes. He admits that he is scared too, but he is willing to try. He stretches out his hand and I take it. We make it to the edge, panic wells up inside me, but I look into his eyes and he smiles at me. I take confidence and we fling ourselves off.

I've never felt this before, flying, it is beautiful and wonderful. I look at him and laugh, he is amazed too. I let my eyes wander and I see the rocks below us, fear grabs me and I feel myself falling. I'm pulling him down too, I look at him and see that he is afraid too, we begin falling faster. I try to let go so I won't drag him down too but he holds firm and tries to pull me up. I believe he can pull us back up and already I feel myself floating again. We straighten out and continue flying toward the land before us. Many friends stand to greet us cheering us on. Finally we touch down and embrace those around us.

I realize that if I hadn't been willing to fall I would never have flown. I had to be willing to take the chance that I might have been dashed against the rocks below, because being where I am now is completely worth it. I had finally been able to trust that someone else had my best interests at heart too.

Mankind is retarded sometimes.

Mad cow disease - caused by cow feed that had sick sheep tissue. That's just plain twisted either way you cut it.

Hepatitis A - strawberries in a field with "inadequate toilet facilities" provided for the workers. Also from shellfish living in waters infested by human waste.

Cause of the illnesses frequently visiting humanity - humanity.

Hoorah for our intelligence. Knowledge obtained courtesy of Rood Fundamentals Edition 9 by Margret McWilliams

On the plus side, Einstein is wayyyyyyy awesome!

Blind Dates

You know you must be doing something when the second counselor in the Bishopric's wife wants to set you up with the second counselor's best friend. Whether it's something right or they just think you suck at dating... Whatever the case I did something and Bro. Anderson asked if it would be okay to set me up with his friend Kevin. Kevin called and set up a date for Saturday night at six. Six rolled around and I was the only one home. None of my roommates were here to make meeting a stranger any less awkward. He shook my hand at the door and then we walked down to his car. Goodwood barbecue had the good fortune to have our presence where we talked for an hour and a half. Then we went bowling where I played better than I ever have before but I still got my trash kicked. 99 to 126. Ouch, yeah.

Blind dates are fun because you don't have any expectations to live up to. You don't know them, they don't know you. You could be anyone you want! Yourself is usually the best option but... ya know... No one says you have to be yourself.... :)

To play or not to play?

In my TMA 101 (Intro to Theater) class we had to write a seven to ten page play with six characters or less. It's a lot harder than you think. A story writer is allowed the privilege of describing his character's actions and facial features in his own words. A play write is only allowed to tell his story through his character's words. The rest is up to the interpretation of directors and actors. I found it quite challenging at first to write seven pages of dialog. Then, I had to be sure I wasn't repeating and dumbing down my play. The best of all, it was due today at four and while I was revising it for the billionth time I suddenly realized how I wanted it to be written! I didn't have the time I needed to revise it entirely. It's gotta be tough to be a playwrite.

Like I said, each of us had to write a play, we were split into groups of eight, (mine has nine due to number discrepancies) and now all of us must democratically choose one play that we will produce in it's entirety. As much as I want my play to be touched with the golden rod, I really don't want it to be done. As soon as others start being my characters they will no longer be my own and perfect in my mind. I won't control their emotions, I won't control their expressions, I won't control their inflection. Yet, to have a play produced? One that is my own? How exciting would that be?

Keep your fingers crossed, I'm not sure for what yet, but keep 'em crossed.