Don't Be an Idiot

What need I say more?
We were asked to write an essay on  this prompt, "You have just learned that you have no more than 30 minutes to live. Everyone you have ever know - family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, even strangers with whom you only had brief contact - are gathered to hear you final thoughts. In 500 words what would you say to them?"
Only 500 words???? I have so much more to say!
As I was writing it I realized that I wouldn't leave it to my death bed. I have already told everyone, except random strangers, everything I would like to say. I would just say it again because, for some reason, being on a deathbed is sacred and the words one speaks hold more weight.
First and foremost I would have to say, "Don't be an idiot... Seriously." Especially to those who have found the secret to true happiness and for some reason or another don't give it the attention and dedication it deserves. Seriously? Why? What possible terrible excuse can you have for wasting your own happiness? Honestly?! Can you look yourself in the mirror and say, without shame, guilt, sarcasm, or longing, "I am perfectly content and at peace with the way I live now. Even if I could, I would change nothing." If you can't say that with utter confidence, FIX IT!!!! You know what to do, you just don't want to do it. YES... YOU DO.
Why? Why do we put off contentment, true happiness and peace???? WHY? Because Satan know what he's doing and he's convinced you you don't deserve. Well guess what? That is the biggest load of bullcrap that every person has swallowed at some point in his life. You do deserve to be happy. So get over yourself and shape up. When you fall down, don't beat yourself up. Get back on that horse and ride it! No, you can't do it alone no matter what you tell yourself. Yes, you have to make the choice, but you can't do it alone. That's why we have the atonement. Use it. Seriously. Don't be an idiot. Forgive yourself and love yourself or you will never, ever, ever find peace. Do it. Don't be an idiot.

Frog Dating - A delicacy

I love my job. Today I had the best conversation about dating I have ever had.
Me: "Jared, can we be friends forever?"
Jared (the funniest kid I've ever met sitting two chairs away to my left who has made me guffaw at least 12 times in the past 2 days): "Sure!"
Dahlin (sitting one chair to my right who is also hilarious): "Hmmm? Yeah?" While gesturing with his eyes toward Jared.
Me: "No..."
Dahlin: "I don't think you are getting my point."
Me: "No, I got it, that was my answer... No..."
Dahlin: "Could you be more specific? I'm not very good at guessing."
Me: "I was answering your question."
Dahlin: "Which question?"
Me: "The one you were asking."
Dahlin: Something about happiness sitting two chairs away.
Me: "We already discussed this, I'm not interesting in trying that right now."
Dahlin: "I have eaten frog in my life..."
Me: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Dahlin: "It didn't look like anything that I would want to try eating, but when I did try it, it was the best thing in the world."
Me: "I've tried frog before and it has made me very sick."
Dahlin & Me: "Stomach ache? Food Poisoning!"
Jared: "YOU GOT FOOD POISONING FROM TRYING FROG????"
Me (trying very hard to get the words past my bouts of laughter): "Yep, and it was a very unpleasant experience."
Jared: "WHY WOULD YOU EAT FROG! You should never try frog again."
Me (gesturing toward Jared but talking to Dahlin): "SEE! You see what I'm saying?!"
Jared: "We have to get you away from your addictions where you will never eat frog again. Maybe in the desert, Oh wait, there's toads... The Amazon! Where the frogs are poisonous so if you eat one you die! So you can either give in to your addiction and die or your addiction will over come you and take you down!"
Me: "Right!"
Dahlin: "You could at least try frog again."
Me: "The last frog I tried was a bad experience, it..."
Dahlin: "Hopped away?"
Me: "With half of me along with it. But I do nibble."
Dahlin: "I think you'd better explain 'nibbling.'"
Me: "No physical contact just dating for fun."
Dahlin: "No hugs or high fives???"
Me: "Yes, high fives... and hugs at the end."
Dahlin: "I once took a girl on a date and she didn't give me a hug or a high five, she just walked right into her door."
Oh work, I actually look forward to you every day. :)

Poleeeese (Stop here if you are squeamish)

Logan and I were bored last night, so we decided we would get a group together and play a game of glow in the dark ultimate frisbee. It all went rather well until Kevin caught the winning Frisbee and his leg caught the business end of a goal post support. It the dark it looked like a deep cut. But when Logan's old roommate and I got him to the hospital we could see it was much worse than that. The pole took out a rather large portion of his shin... as you can see...

It was absolutely revolting but Kevin didn't seem to be in too much pain and he actually seemed to be enjoying himself. A volunteer named Liam (who is from South Africa) stopped in to see and show off his own scar. He had a skin graft that encompassed the right side of his left leg from ankle to knee. It was really weird for me to see. I got the lucky job of accompanying Kevin back behind the huge whooshing doors to wait for stitches. 

Here they have cleaned out his wound and you can see just how bad it really is. That is a layer of skin, then fat, then muscle, and at the lowest tip down his leg is where you can see a little bit of his bone. Liam and Kevin had a marvelous time joking about all kinds of disgusting things and I'm sure Kevin was the riot of the ER. I think it was the first time I've ever laughed so much watching someone get worked on in a hospital.

His doctor was a miracle worker and 12 surface 4-6 dissolvable stitches later you would have never know Kevin was missing two inches of his epidermis.