Sep 10, 2013


When I tell people that I have self-confidence issues I usually get some sort of reaction like this:
Just cuz I fake it really well. Ok, fine, it's not that I fake it really well, it's that I have no self confidence when it comes to people. And by that I mean, I know my worth insofar as the Lord is concerned and so, for the most part, I don't really care what people think of me. That is, until I start caring about them. Then I care what they think about me and then I start worrying and picking apart everything I do and I realize I do a lot of dumb things that people might not like and what if they don't like me when they get to know me and how long do I wait until I'm sure that the other shoe won't drop because I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop even though I know that is irrational and I'm being a little silly and what if I don't tell him that I appreciate him enough because I do but I have this thing where I like to tease people because I don't want them knowing just how much I like them but what if they think I don't appreciate them or see them but what if I'm too honest.... It goes on and on and on. I hate it. 
Sigh, one of these days I'll stop being so insecure. But now I have a boyfriend, so it's full tilt. ONWARD INSECURITIES! DROWN HER! RUIN IT ALL!

Well, I refuse to let you. So there.