Addictions, more than the physical.

Can you really be addicted to a song? I submit that you absolutely can. I love songs! But there is one song in particular that has caught my fancy and held me enthralled for most of the day.



Ok, so the video is really weird, but the music? Incredible, the melody? Enthralling, his voice? So hypnotic... Sigh, I am addicted to a song! I am ADDICTED TO A SONG!
Now all I need to do is get help for it....
But where do I even start????
P.S. I found this on Facebook, a friend shared it. I blame him for my obession. Yep, I am totally passing the buck. :)

Frog Dating - A delicacy

I love my job. Today I had the best conversation about dating I have ever had.
Me: "Jared, can we be friends forever?"
Jared (the funniest kid I've ever met sitting two chairs away to my left who has made me guffaw at least 12 times in the past 2 days): "Sure!"
Dahlin (sitting one chair to my right who is also hilarious): "Hmmm? Yeah?" While gesturing with his eyes toward Jared.
Me: "No..."
Dahlin: "I don't think you are getting my point."
Me: "No, I got it, that was my answer... No..."
Dahlin: "Could you be more specific? I'm not very good at guessing."
Me: "I was answering your question."
Dahlin: "Which question?"
Me: "The one you were asking."
Dahlin: Something about happiness sitting two chairs away.
Me: "We already discussed this, I'm not interesting in trying that right now."
Dahlin: "I have eaten frog in my life..."
Me: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Dahlin: "It didn't look like anything that I would want to try eating, but when I did try it, it was the best thing in the world."
Me: "I've tried frog before and it has made me very sick."
Dahlin & Me: "Stomach ache? Food Poisoning!"
Jared: "YOU GOT FOOD POISONING FROM TRYING FROG????"
Me (trying very hard to get the words past my bouts of laughter): "Yep, and it was a very unpleasant experience."
Jared: "WHY WOULD YOU EAT FROG! You should never try frog again."
Me (gesturing toward Jared but talking to Dahlin): "SEE! You see what I'm saying?!"
Jared: "We have to get you away from your addictions where you will never eat frog again. Maybe in the desert, Oh wait, there's toads... The Amazon! Where the frogs are poisonous so if you eat one you die! So you can either give in to your addiction and die or your addiction will over come you and take you down!"
Me: "Right!"
Dahlin: "You could at least try frog again."
Me: "The last frog I tried was a bad experience, it..."
Dahlin: "Hopped away?"
Me: "With half of me along with it. But I do nibble."
Dahlin: "I think you'd better explain 'nibbling.'"
Me: "No physical contact just dating for fun."
Dahlin: "No hugs or high fives???"
Me: "Yes, high fives... and hugs at the end."
Dahlin: "I once took a girl on a date and she didn't give me a hug or a high five, she just walked right into her door."
Oh work, I actually look forward to you every day. :)

Cutest Boy Ever

I got to spend an entire day with my favorite nephew! And even though he is my only nephew is the most adorable incredible child ever! He's 13 mo and the happiest child I have ever met, he only cried when he fell down a couple times. And no, I was not being negligent, he was just being a little boy. I'm amazed at the number of times they can fall down and be totally fine. I suppose babies are so resilient because they have to be.
We went to the park and he was so cute playing on the playground equipment. He absolutely loves cars and he is really good at rolling his "r"s and imitating an actual engine. He has bright blonde hair and an incredible smile. He looks are great deal like both his mother and his father. He has the cutest little snub nose.
I have some pictures for your perusal. Enjoy, I know I enjoyed seeing him.

He's holding one of the little whiffle ball scoop catchers. He scrunches his eyes up and waves his arm really fast to throw the ball. It's fun.

He loves driving trucks

He loves this little fire engine, he drives it around and says, "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

He loved this little turning knobs at the park.

He's an excellent climber.

There was a pirate ship with little windows, he stood there and talked and talked to the outside of the window.

Stories

I'm really glad my mother and I are so alike because we are anything but normal and it's nice to have an abnormal partner in my abnormalities.
The abnormality I'd like to talk about today is ... stories. Not the regular, sit down read a book story, but the story you make up on the spot after some small event that in your story could be hugely life changing. Like I said, hardly normal. It could be a look, or a phone call, or a text, or a simple phrase someone says or you would like someone to say, or a shoe, a book, a song, a hairstyle, an off-hand comment, an animal, a sunset, a full-moon, a half-moon, a quarter-moon, a new moon, a rude person, an over friendly person, a strange noise, a pleasant noise, an awful smell, a bland smell... I really could go on. I love to make up stories about my life that could possibly happen even if they don't. Not all the stories I make up are happy, but they all keep me highly entertained. Most are happy and almost all have me triumphing or being on top. I can be the kind of person I want to be in these stories, witty, clever, sweet, tough, capable, confident, kind, desirable, sharp, lucky, skilled. I guess that's what I love so much about writing stories. I don't think I've finished a 10th of the stories I write, but I love to capture a perfect moment in time. I write my destiny and other people do what I want them to in my stories.
But, I do love real life, wouldn't it be boring if you knew what was going to happen and when? I still write my destiny, but I always am interested in how other people shape it.

Radio Star

My youngest brother is ... how do I put it lightly ... AMAZING! He is incredibly talented and he just puts his head down and does what he wants. The latest amazing talent? Poetry reading, that's right, poetry reading and when he starts the whole audience is captivated by his voice. Don't believe me? Oh well, Believe you me! He has the deepest, richest bass voice I have ever heard, and it is even more awe-inspiring considering it comes from a 17 year old! He's been told several times he could be a radio announcer. It's soooo true!

I had to get a picture with him before he went on stage to win the hearts of the audience and judges for regional competition.

All the competitors for regionals and a highly talented group of you adults. The third from the left, the girl behind the announcer and the girl on the far end were the only ones to move on to the state competition. But, we heard from one judge that Alec was her favorite and he should have been the one going to state... The rules are a little bit more than powerful stage presence though, one slip up could cost you the title.

All the family, teachers, and friends who drove two hours just to hear my little brother recite poetry. And yes, he was awesome and better than one girl (who will remain unidentified) that moved on. But hey, sometimes failure is good. We have to learn we can't win all the time... Right? Next year bud, you'll be a national champ next year.

Magical

A short (but sweet) addition to the previous post.

I don't think I added a very important part to my post. The bouquet and garter toss! Well, Erin caught the bouquet and Evan, her boyfriend, caught the garter. I wonder if he didn't work it out on purpose... It is definitely something he would do... Anyway.

For all you doubters out there that believe it doesn't work. Exactly a week and a day from the reception I got a text from Erin telling me that Evan had proposed. MAGIC! It works!

Tell your friends.

9/10/11 12:00

Yes, we are that cool that we were married on 9-10-11-12! And the day was PERFECT!!!! From the Saturday (9/3/11) we arrived in New York to the Thursday two days before the wedding it rained constantly, alternating between pouring and drizzling, but it was basically constant. Then, Thursday night it cleared, Friday the sky was only half full of clouds that didn't rain, and Saturday was a cloudless beautiful.
Friday was the rehearsal at the golf course gazebo and as you can see it was pretty much the perfect setting. A gazebo amongst greenery with a lake in the background, what more could a girl ask for without actually being able to scout out sites?

Here we all are, you can't really see the lake, but no worries, it will show up later. The whole time we stood up there I was thinking, this is going to be a really nice wedding for someone, everyone looks so nice. It just didn't feel real to me. It was a little amusing I have to admit because it really was for me, it was real, and it was most definitely happening.

Here we are listening to speeches (I was really grateful I didn't have to give one, I'm terrible at speeches). One from my father and one from Bryan's. The adorable little guy you see down there is Bryan's (and now my) nephew, Chase. He is a little ball of energy, he makes all of us run around in circles and when one of us gets tired he makes someone else run with him.

The girls entering the limo the next morning. It was my first time riding a limo, I was very excited. I had to be the last in and last out though.

Bryan, Craig (Bryan's father), and me after the ceremony.

The whole bridal party. From left to right: Autumn (my matron of Honor), Kelli, Erin, Emily, Kelly (in back), Cate (in back), Me, Bryan, Brad (in back), Kurt, Brian, George (in back), Brett

My new sisters! Both of whom I love! Cate, me, Kelly

Me and my family. Seth, Mom, Dad, me, Bryan, Autumn, Derrick holding Edison, their son.

 

That says it all.

Isn't the cake beautiful!

Good ole cake smashing. :) He got it up my nose if you couldn't tell, gross. Yes, it certainly was.

Our first dance. "I have and I Always Will" by Dave Barnes

Father/Daughter dance. "Butterfly Kisses." Yes, we did both bawl our eyes out. The wedding wasn't really real to me until my father walked into the bridal room. Then it was suddenly real to me.

Love, love, love, love this picture!

Me and my girls all previous roommates. Erin, me, Kelli, Emily

I couldn't raise my arms as high as everyone else.

A yellow fuzzy worm that Kelli found and put on her bouquet. We're passing it from my bouquet to hers.

My first nephew, Edison Byron. Isn't he adorable? I thought so too. I had to be really careful though because he had been spitting up all day. Don't you just love babies?

Best day ever!!!!!!

Keepers of the Wild, for reelzzzz

So this Wednesday I actually got to go to Keepers of the Wild and play with the weeds, tease Kyle, name some animals, plant two trees, sweat like a pig, and get checked out by a monkey. Unfortunately I didn't bring a camera so I didn't get to take any pictures of the actual animals, so I will insert pictures from the internet of animals that look a lot like them.

Brett, Bryan, 10 missionaries and myself piled into an 11 passenger van, I got to ride shotgun. We arrived at Keepers in Valentine, Arizona and could hear the animals waking up and roaring out at the day. The lion, Sultan, had managed to poke his eye on a stick and had to have surgery on his eye, he looked quite melancholy (mel-on-call-y) and slept a lot.

He is quite the big beautiful animal and roared once when a car rumbled past. And when one of the elders got a little too close taking pictures (too bad he wasn't a little closer, he might have peed his pants). The rest of us got a laugh as the elder sprang back as fast as he could. Sultan has quite the roar. Many of the missionaries worked at putting another fence in between the lion's cage and the tiger's cage. The tigers gave us a couple shows, one suddenly rushing at and springing on another. Ruckus and Apollo were their names and Apollo left a lovely gift of spray on Brett's shoe, and boy did it smell strong. :D Remember Brett, it's a privilege.

Kyle was the first animal I saw and the first one I named (someone said his name was Marvin but I think Kyle fits him better). Bryan named the other ostrich Eddie. Kyle and I got into a hissing match and more than one eye contest that I won. :) Coward. It was fun to hear him hiss though. Lucky for you I actually found a picture of Kyle! Here he is in all his glory!

Bryan and I cleared a whole area of weeds and then planted two trees, one of which took forever because the ground was so ridiculously hard ground. The other Bryan did mostly by himself. I enjoyed watching him, and lifting the tree into the hole in the ground. We made friends with a llama I named Tina, and whose real name was Snickers. Apparently Snickers almost got into a boxing match with one of the elders the last time they came. He rose up on his hind feet and came at the elder quite determinedly. The Elder Lindsey took a page from Karate Kid and waxed off Snickers right onto his back. This time Snickers picked on Elder Lindsey's companion, Elder Kioa. Everytime the elder walked by Tina started following him and trying to spit on him. It was very entertaining.

The monkey village proved the most entertaining. One monkey had a very long reach and kept trying to steal peoples cameras and glasses. He also took an interest in me and we had a staring match. As I was staring into the intriguing monkey's face Bryan tried to cover my eyes and told me not to look and the zoo keeper apologized. Then he addressed the monkey, "You're pretty proud of yourself aren't you? Yeah, he always has to show off for the ladies." Then I noticed the monkey was showing off his man parts. Oddly enough the men were more uneasy than I was and I hadn't even noticed until they pointed it out. But, I figure, whatever, he's a male. It's nature, they can't help it. ;) What makes that experience even more priceless is that I was the only girl with 11 other guys.

There was quite an array of animals at the Keepers and I would have loved nothing more than to go an cuddle with one of the big cats. They truly are beautiful creatures and I don't mind helping out.

What a Blessing

To listen to the words of the Lord every six months. To be filled with the wisdom and knowledge from above. To have eternal truth shared with us and taught to us. To know that our Lord loves us because He chooses to share this with us. To be surrounded by friends and family and share the spirit that undeniably exists when those prophetic men and women speak. To tangibly feel their love and concern for us. To know they do pray about us and want the best for us. To be touched when the subject they speak on hits upon the exact circumstances in your and my life. To know that your prayers have been answered and the Lord is very, very mindful of you..

What a blessing.

This General Conference I had the opportunity to actually be in the Conference center for the first time in my life. It was an experience that I reveled in and greatly enjoyed. The best part was, I was only eleven rows away from the prophet, and some odd feet because I was off to the far left. They were so close and so real. It was a beautiful blessing to be so near the prophet of the Lord and to feel of his presence.

Onto the funny stories. Heh heh heh. Katherine and I found parking and proceeded to walk toward the Conference Center when we were approached by a man and asked "Do you have any extra tickets?" This in itself is not funny. I just so happened to noticed his hair... He was balding and had the monk ring around his head with a balding top AND a tuft of hair right smack in the center of his forehead. When he turned and jogged toward the person in front of us, almost running into the trees on the side of the road, I burst into laughter because even better than his hairstyle was that the tuft of hair stood straight up when he ran. I dub thee Quail Man. Yes, I know I'm a terrible person, I simply could not contain my laughter.

Then I got felt up by a missionary. Not really. His hand just so happened to swing right into the path of my thigh as we were weaving through people trying to find the right doors. Me, being my dramatic self gasped aloud. Katherine just started cracking up.

Katherine and I are slightly bizarre under any circumstance and down right ridiculous under and circumstance when we are together. I apologized to the man in front of us.

"We aren't usually like this." Then I stared at him until he realized I was talking to him.

"Why? You should be like this all the time."

"If we were honest, we'd admit we are like this all the time." Katherine interjected.

"But only in public." I clarified.

"Absolutely! Share it with others!" The large man told us. Yeah, he's cool.

ON the way home I was conversing with Katherine when something moved on her seat. Here was my reaction to that thing I was very certain was a bug with far too many legs.

"Yeah, so they were like, AAAAAAHHH! Oh, just kidding." The bug turned out to be a piece of lint with hairs attached to it. No cause for alarm. But it could have killed me if it hadn't been a piece of lint.

Easily Bored

I get easily bored with my hair and I always want to do something new with it. Which is why I cut my hair at least 10 times a year. Okay, maybe not 10 times but very very often. Last night I was getting really fidgety so I asked someone in my ward if they would like to cut my hair. Didn't work out. So this morning I thought, "I've seen people cut my hair, I know how to do it." Bad choice, right? Always a disaster, right? I asked Emily if I should and she said, "Go for it." Right. So I got out the scissors, got out the razor and stared at myself in the mirror for a long time. I snipped my bangs and Tried forever to cut the side. Cut a little of the side.

Then my roommate Bridget emerged and asked if I would like help. I readily agreed, showed her what I wanted, found out she'd never cut hair, sat patiently while she worked on my hair.

Here's a before pic.

Here's the after.

Pretty amazing right? Right! So glad Bridget came out and offered to help! Also, it looks so much cuter in person. I will be happy to show you it any. Just ask. :)

Valentine's

Day of love, laughter, and stealing juice from the neighboring party.

So my ward had an awesome Valentine's partly last night that was filled with frosting cookies, making valentines, decorating bags, and picture booths. The weather was nice so I decided to forgo wearing a jacket and putting on real shoes. Instead I wore my mismatching Pirates of the Carribean socks and two different colored flip-flops. Needless to say I was not the height of fashion, though I did wear my "LOVE" shirt! Yay!

My bag died a little. The first one I made had m&ms glued on it but they melted all over the bag, some sort of chemical reaction from the candy coating and the sparkly glue. So I tossed it and made a cuter one with pretty paper on it.

Here's the cookie I decorated. Isn't it lovely? Yes I know, thank you.

I didn't win the cookie decorating contest but the cookies that did are very cute. Congrats girls! There was a neighboring dance party that was pumping their music and Emily and I couldn't help but dance it up a couple times. The photo booth was fantastic though, Emily and I are pro at taking awesome pictures. Don't believe me? Check it out here. Here are just a few of the really cool people at the party. Can you spot Mark in the background?

There were some very adorable drawing on the board so of course I had to add to them.

At last the party drew to a close and Em and I found ourselves very thirsty and the juices from next door calling out to us. We had a ton of cupcakes left over from our party that she had made so we devised a plan to trade the cupcakes for juice. Not so sneakily we placed the cupcakes on the table and snatched a half drunken bottle of cranberry juice. We made an immediate dash for the door and heard a man call out behind us.

"HEY!" After my heart skipping a few beats and collapsing into a fit of giddy giggles with Em we found out it was only Devin, a boy from our ward. We swiped some cups from the Cougareat each (Emily, Mark, Devin, and I) drank some of the juice, were reminded that cranberry juice is bitter and carried the rest of the bottle home with us. Who puts cranberry juice out at a dance? No wonder it was only half empty while all the other juices were gone.

Upon reaching home Emily and I decided to ditch the bottle. Bridget was home from her date so she came with us. We left the 1/4 full bottle on a doorstep, knocked and scattered. No one answered even though the blinds were open and we could clearly see the boy sitting on the couch through the open blinds. So I ran down and knocked again, pounded really, and dashed back upstairs. The boy came to the door and stared at the bottle of Cranberry juice (which I should add, didn't have a lid because we were in too much of a hurry to search the table for it's lid) for at least a full minute. Then he took it inside with him.

Good times, good times.

Sometimes I Just Gotta....

Katherine asked me if I wanted to go to a concert last night. Sure, why not, I wasn't doing anything else. Little did either of us know the night would be filled with awkward amusement...

The concert was held in the Tanner Building with the choirs singing on the stairs. As you can see there were lots and lots of people.

So Katherine and I decided to take the elevator rather than force our way through the myriad of humans cluttering the stairs. I don't like elevators, I never really have, they make me sick. So, I got in and struck a pose, basically like I was guarding the elevator from people attempting to enter it. It kind of helped my elevator sickness, but to be honest, I just felt like being awkward.

We exited one floor below the entrance, noted that there were no seats and made our way back to the elevator. One girl entered it with us and was kind enough to allow me to leap onto the elevator and resume my pose until we reached the next floor.

Not much luck on this floor either, silly people who save seat they aren't even close too... But we made our way from the stairs to the open space and into the hall. I was feeling restless... Never a good sign.

After hearing that the boy Katherine was admiring was an organ major I attempted a tongue roll, (rrrrrr) but it came out rather pathetic so I did it again with a great deal of success. Then I was reenacting the first tongue roll, holding it out for a while. Long enough for one of the boys in front of me to turn slightly, make eye contact, and give me a "you-are-slightly-amusing-weirdo" smile. I promptly gave him my "you-caught-me-being-an-idiot" smile in return until he resumed facing forward. Katherine meanwhile was busting a gut beside me, not helping my image one bit. Whaddyado?

Then I saw this girl taking a picture of her friend and noticed the camera angle was really wide so I lept into the picture frame and made a grotesque face. The girl immediately started cracking up and she showed her friend the picture. When her friend turned around it was none other than our elevator buddy! They laughed for a very long time until Elevator Buddy came out and explained that she had told her friend to take a discrete picture of me because she liked my hair. Glad that worked out.

Shortly after this lovely incident a boy came and stood directly between me and the choir. How rude! Katherine suggested I cough very loudly. So I did, I was hoping it would be more natural sounding than it was... He didn't move. So I coughed again, again trying for the natural sound. Fail. He noticed this time and with a very concerned look on his face moved to the side. Katherine lost all composure. I lost it when I heard her laughing. The boy apologized and I just laughed even harder.

It was at this point in time we left the concert because we couldn't see. Well, that was one reason. Here is a picture of us on the way out. I couldn't for the life of me get her to smile naturally.

Best Weekend Ever

Why? Because I got to spend three glorious days with my favorite person. Ever. True story

Here he is. My boyfriend, and best friend. Thank you MLKJ, you allowed me a portion of time to see him.

My poor roommates had to put up with me being super excited (jumping up and down any time someone asked me or reminded me that he was coming) The whole week before he came. I hadn't seen him in over a month! I know, tragedy! So, of course I was way excited to find out he was coming.

I had asked him to meet me at work and told him when I got off. Ironically enough he sat down right in front of my work area and I just happened to come up the stairs and see him a mere 15 minutes before I got off. We were both very surprised and all I wanted to do was run and jump hug him. Luckily for my job I kept my composure.

15 minutes later I walk out of work and he vanished! I thought maybe I'd imagined it, so I searched for a few minutes then I called him. I got to run and jump hug him. That made me happy. We toured the school, went to dinner and mini indoor golfing with friends. And that was only the start of a fun filled sa-uuuuuu-per awesome weekend.

(I felt like being contrary)

He left today and I thought I would be sad, but I'm not. I'm really glad it happened and we got the chance to see each other again. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

One more month til I get to see him again. Until then, I'll let Owl City state my sentiments.

.

Rampant....Things.....

Mostly rampant cheating. My family loves to cheat, but we only like to cheat if you catch us. Cheating is only fun when you get caught, of course, winning is always nice when you don't....

We think we inherited it from our mom, she loves to cheat so that people will laugh and tell her to straighten up. Derrick "cheats" by changing the rules. If the goal is to get the least amount of points, Derrick (who almost always loses terribly) will claim that having the most amount of points is really the way to win.

Also complaining, what would a competitive game be without complaining? This comes from my dad's side I think, because my Uncle Shade is about the best complainer I know.

Me, I like to cheat blatantly and made people laugh and laugh in turn. Kevin and Seth are about the worst cheaters in our family, they even plot out loud. They pretty much never win though. I guess it just goes to show "cheaters never prosper."

But, even more rampant than cheating and complaining is the laughter that burst out at the antics of family members in our scramble to win. Long live the laughter of the Gibelyou clan. Or Gobelyou's and all their little gibelets. (What my father calls us on Thanksgiving)

Three Little Words

Three little words cause the world to go crazy and reason to fly out the window, at least for some. To reach a point in a relationship where you feel comfortable enough to tell your partner those words takes time and courage. And when that doesn't work out like you expected it too...

Watching my friend struggle breaks my heart, but for tonight I was rewarded in my efforts to make her escape for a couple hours into frivolity. While I can comfort and console, and be a shoulder to cry on, I find that my favorite role to play is a buoy and an escape. I could tell that she didn't want to talk or think about it, so I didn't. I made her laugh and guffaw with silly stories about my day, I made her pay attention to me and dance with me. Sing happy birthday to our friend with a French accent, and made her laugh with my and Anne's silly antics. (We "interpretively danced to Bruno Mars's "Just the Way You Are.")

I wish that I knew someway to make her laugh and pull her away from the pain without focusing on myself, but I am grateful that I could give even so small a gift as a few hours of reprieve. If ever your heart is broken and you want to get away, come see me and we will frolic in the lands of silliness. And I hope someday, when my heart is raw, that I can rely on you for the same thing. Isn't that what this life is all about?

Catchin Up...

Soooo, yeah, I take so many pictures thinking, "I'll use this for blogging. Eventually." I could just do a billion posts, but I don't think I will, I'll just do one big one with lots of pictures. (Well, more pictures than I normally do.)

Rain in Kingman is a rare thing and a beautiful gift. I couldn't help from taking the photo to share with others the happy experience. It rained for a week, not heavy steady rain. It would rain light, for a long while, heavy for a minute and then stop for a few hours. Oh Kingman with all your quirks, we love you still.

"Tegan, come make some shoe pastry with me."

"Some what?"

"Shoe pastry for Kevin's birthday, he wants cream puffs." I was highly confused, what do shoes have to do with creams puffs?

Here's what:

Choux is pronounced shoe. Gotcha. We made some "shoe" pastry and it was delicious! I made the pudding and stuffed the little buggers while mom gobbed melted chocolate all over them.
The birthday boy and me. Happy 18th. Ack, yes, he is an adult!!!!

This adorable little puppy tried to run me down at midnight on Saturday night. I was driving home just as natural as can be when this dog runs straight for my car! I pulled over and discovered that he had no collar, and he hopped in my car like, "Okay, I'm ready to go, let's go."

I chuckled and drove to the neighbors where I saw the light on. Alas, he was not the sweet old lady's dog and she had never seen him before. No one in that neighborhood had. So I took him home and he spent the night in my room. Sunday morning I tried again to find his owner. No such luck. But an old man with an accent took him in because he had food and water that he kept for his other dogs. I was going to pick him up today to take him to the pound but the man didn't answer the door. Mom will try again tomorrow.

Evidence that appliances do hate me. My shower likes to race me out of the stall. Today it won.

a moment of vanity when I dressed myself and did my own hair.
I LOVE picnik.com.

What you don't know really can hurt you.