The Cost of a Colored Cut

So today was a lovely and exciting day. It all started with me finishing my set that I was constructing for class. (A mini set out of play dough) It was beautiful! Madison and Shaelyn can attest. I packed it up neatly so I could take it to be presented to my class. Lovely.

Then I went to meet Julie so we could go to her hair cutting interview. Basically, she would dye and cut my hair so that the owner could see how good she was and hire her. The foiling of my hair took a lot longer than either of us expected. So, I ran to my presentation looking like this…

but with my face. Naturally. I ran in just as my group was starting their presentation so I had no time to set up my beautiful stage. The director simply said, “And this is Tegan, she is playing the princess.” I felt deeply, deeply embarrassed. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t been late. I thought about not doing it but, my group was depending on me. I couldn't just not show up, our grade depended on it.

Then it was my turn to present and I started whipping out my set and most of it fell apart. My castle broke and I tried to make jokes but I knew that my professor wasn't at all impressed. I was devastated. I had worked for weeks on that tinee little stage, sculpting it out of play dough and painting it. My face was so red and I felt retarded. Each and everyone of my group members gave me the “I pity you.” face. It was horrible and I almost started crying. But, everyone told me they were impressed I even showed up and with all the work I’d put in. I only wish my professor though so. I'm almost afraid of what he will grade me for. I am extremely grateful that I was able to make it to my presentation though. If I had just not shown up? That would have been awful!

So, with my pride broken I went back to the salon and Julie finished my hair. It looks fantastic! Five hours from the start here is what I look like. J

Isn’t it lovely? Yay!

Extrospection, Introspection

Tonight I watched BYU's production of Blood Wedding, later I watched Chuck: Chuck Versus the Tic-Tac both put me in an introspective mood.

About love.

Yeah, it seems like that is all we hear, love this, love that, hate such and such, hate blah-de blah. But... isn't that the whole reason we are here?

Love.

Such a powerful emotion that changes lives in all sorts of ways. In Blood Wedding love destroyed lives, yet it can't be love because love only builds, it doesn't destroy. The Love between the girl and the man she loves was once pure but no longer holds the pure quality it had. When he married another his love became twisted into lust, had he really loved her he would have let her find happiness in the marriage she was about to enter. Loving someone is wanting the best for them no matter what it does to you. It's letting yourself be torn apart by the emotions you hold and never letting the other see the destruction.

Or is it? Shouldn't we fight for the ones we love? When does love change?

When is it wrong?

To hold so tightly to another and desire to always be with them? When we give up the ones we love, is it simply for the social acceptance?

Yes and no.

We should fight for the ones we love, but we should not stand in the way of their happiness. When they choose another we should love them enough to step back and let go. If our love cannot do that, then

it isn't love.

In Chuck Casey (my favorite character) tells Chuck that he chose long ago love of country over love and that "you need to figure out which is best for you." Even though I highly doubt I will ever be spy and have to choose between those two options there will be times in my life where I will have to choose between love of ___ (fill in the blank) and love. There will be times with I will choose the love of, and there will be times when

I choose love.

Another part of Chuck revealed a little bit of love. Ellie and Devin (Chuck's sister and bro-in-law) both have conflicting desires. Ellie just got accepted into her dream school and Devin wants to join Doctors Without Borders. Each argues their individual points. In the end Ellie tells Chuck she is willing to go with Devin.

"Dreams change."

Devin takes Ellie into their house and tells her that he is willing to stay for her because he knows it what she's always wanted.

That is love.

Sacrificing what you want to make the other person happy. Not just in a romantic sense either. Lest you think I'm centered on that. It's for everyone. The whole reason we came to this earth is to learn to love others. Christ is the ultimate example of love. He gave all he had, comfort, life, freedom, innocence, for you, and for me. He did not put himself above the rest of us, he gave freely and purely, his love was not twisted in anyway. His whole life was devoted to giving all he had to others and making their lives better. That is what love means.

Love is scary.

I know. You invest your whole soul in another person, boyfriend, husband, friend, child, mother, father, sister, brother, nephew, niece, uncle, aunt, grandparent and sometimes you don't get the return you wanted. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes it takes years before you can see a change or feel loved in return. Sometimes those who love you most and whom you love most in return are the ones who cut you deepest.

Love isn't always easy.

But it is so rewarding. It's what life is all about.

(Songs: MoTab: I Feel My Savior's Love; Michael Buble: LOVE)

Carpe Stage

So, I just got back from trying out for a play. Let me tell you, I'm really excited about it and I hope I get the part. Let me explain a bit, when you try for a play the director gives you parts of the scritp to read from. In this particular play there were many french accents, an american accent, and one german accent. I was going to do the American because I'm not famous for my accents. But something made me choose the French and I discovered I was not that bad at it. I'm not entirely sure but I think the direct thought I was okay too because he had me go out and read another part with a French accent. Fingers crossed that I was Frenchy enough.

If you like melodic piano music and looking back at your life click HERE.It is amazing and it touched my soul. Figuratively speaking of course. :) I hope you like it.

Peace, Home, and Comfort

Do you ever have those times when you are unsure and you just need to get away from the chaos and fast paced rhythm? Izzy and I traveled down to Arizona this weekend to get away from it. We left ridiculously early Friday morning. Both of us were pretty wired when we weren't sleeping and when we stopped in Nevada it was like the sun had zapped us with energy. We were alive for that moment in time. I felt so alive until 3 in the afternoon. This is when I passed out for three hours on the bed in my home. It's always nice to be in a home.

That night my mother, two younger brothers and I went to Mr. Jennings' production of MidSummer Night's Dream, which, by the way, was absolutely amazing! Kevin Grenda, Spencer Vandevier, Josh Shupe, and Anna Jennings played my favorite parts with astounding skill and gusto. Kevin played Demetri and he was GOOD. I was shocked at how well he acted. Spencer played Nick Bottom (perhaps my favorite character). He was hilarious! He has come a long way from two years ago. Josh was Flute and he had the whole audience in the palm of his hand roaring at his antics when he was on stage . Anna was just play amazing at playing Helena, props Anna, props!

On the drive home my youngest brother Alec said that he liked the whole play except for the satire. Mom and I were so confused. We asked all kinds of questions to figure out what he was talking about. Finally it hit me. "OH! You mean the satyr!" "Yeah the satyr (pronouncing it satire)!" Don't you just love Family?

Who needs a Valentine when you have Family? We made dinner and cookies together and played games. Everyone laughed and teased and joked. Honestly, What more do you need?

Thanks guys. You are the best! I am so glad I could go home over the Holiday of love to rediscover how much I love my Family.

Win!

Tartuffe is an amazing play and BYU's adaptation had me reeling. I loved it! It was the best play I've ever seen. Ali and I went to see it on Saturday, if you can, go see it. It is quite the experience! It was almost like a Tim Burton take on Tartuffe.

That night the Elders Quorum held a Relief Society Appreciation Dinner. They encouraged us to dress up as if we were going to prom. When we got there we waited in life for one of the men to escort us to our tables where we were put in every other chair. Candles floated in flower shaped bowls at each table and they had made paper roses as decorations. They did a wonderful job for the whole thing. Here is a picture of all of the girls who went.

I know, I know they are absolutely gorgeous. :)

After the dinner Katherine and I headed over to a friend's apartment to play games and we had a blast. We played ninja, best game ever! I hope to be a champion some day.

Erin asked me to go with her to a friend's house and I learned how to play pool, a game I previously played horribly. True story, I was there. I actually made a couple cool shots. Yeah! It was awesome!

Monday night our ward had a Nerd Fest. Here are all the nerds in their glory. Way awesome night.

a small picture but we all look awesomely nerdy. Sometimes it's great to let loose and be a little nerdy.

To play or not to play?

In my TMA 101 (Intro to Theater) class we had to write a seven to ten page play with six characters or less. It's a lot harder than you think. A story writer is allowed the privilege of describing his character's actions and facial features in his own words. A play write is only allowed to tell his story through his character's words. The rest is up to the interpretation of directors and actors. I found it quite challenging at first to write seven pages of dialog. Then, I had to be sure I wasn't repeating and dumbing down my play. The best of all, it was due today at four and while I was revising it for the billionth time I suddenly realized how I wanted it to be written! I didn't have the time I needed to revise it entirely. It's gotta be tough to be a playwrite.

Like I said, each of us had to write a play, we were split into groups of eight, (mine has nine due to number discrepancies) and now all of us must democratically choose one play that we will produce in it's entirety. As much as I want my play to be touched with the golden rod, I really don't want it to be done. As soon as others start being my characters they will no longer be my own and perfect in my mind. I won't control their emotions, I won't control their expressions, I won't control their inflection. Yet, to have a play produced? One that is my own? How exciting would that be?

Keep your fingers crossed, I'm not sure for what yet, but keep 'em crossed.