My Doctrine and Covenant class has us write what is called Scenario Papers where we use at least three scriptures from the D&C to answer personal questions from classmates. Today I chose to answer this one.
By January, two of my current roommates will have moved out (reasons: marriage and study abroad). They are some of my best friends and I'm really sad that I won't be living with them any more. How can I prepare myself for this huge change?
Change is difficult for so many things. It almost always is good, especially when you trust in the Lord and look to him in every thought (Proverbs 3:6). I roomed with complete strangers this summer and by the end of our short two months together I had become closer friends with them than anyone else I’d ever roomed with. It broke my heart to see them go, I hate it when people I’m close to leave. The roommate I’d grown closest to had written down a poem she knew called, “Reason, Season and Lifetime.” It is an incredible poem and it opened my eyes. People who come into our lives for a Reason teach us a lesson and then are gone, not because we did anything wrong, but because that is how it was meant to be. “And how it was possible for him to preach to those spirits and perform the necessary labor among them in so short a time” (D&C 138:28). There are necessary labors for all of us to perform for others, and sometimes that is all that is required.
Other people come into our lives for a Season, we learn more than one lesson from them and develop a great relationship. But, again, they leave without any wrong doing on our part. Sometimes it is to help us get through a hard time, or to teach us something that takes longer than a Reason. Always they make significant impact on our lives. It may seem trivial to ask the Lord for help when others leave our lives but according to the prophecy of Isaiah, “the Redeemer was anointed to bind up the broken-hearted” (D&C 138:42). Before this year I had never realized just how much the Atonement of Christ covers. It is infinite, I had always thought that meant it went forwards and backwards through time. Now my understanding has been expanded and I realized it covers everything infinitely, every hurt, every sorrow, every moment of loneliness, every tear, every disappointment, every sin, every mistake, every ill spoken word, every loss, everything. Even the heartache of losing those close to us for a short time, or for a very long time.
Some people come into our lives for a Lifetime. Perhaps your roommates will be there for you for a lifetime. Just because people leave doesn't mean that we can’t reach out to them and stay in touch. I know it’s not the same, but life has many people who come to reach and teach us. There will be more who will help and build you up. That doesn't mean we forget the first, but we can and must allow others to come in. “But behold, from among the righteous, he organized his forces and appointed messengers, clothed with power and authority, and commissioned them to go forth and carry the light of the gospel to them that were in darkness, even to all the spirits of men” (D&C 138:30). Whether people come into my life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime, I do all I can to touch their lives and leave them with a little more light than I found them. It makes it easier to let them go, and I know I will see them again.
Writing this broke my heart a bit.
Here's the poem.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.