Mar 4, 2014

Going Home

I never thought I'd be back in the position where I would return home to live again. Not to my parent's house, but back to my home town. It's going to be strange moving back and knowing that I will be living there for a little while on the way to my ultimate goal. A few close friends are worried about the move, they worry about the social life that waits me there.
Maybe I should worry too, but I don't. I feel very deeply and strongly that this move is right. I will be where I need to be and I am excited to start this new trail in my life. It's going to be great!
The thing is, I believe I know what lies ahead of me and it isn't the bleak picture my friends believe it to be. It is a beautiful picture. I trust the Lord, I know he has great plans for me and they don't include a bleak future I need to despair of. The future is bright and beautiful because my Savior is at the helm.
I'm going home!

Jan 20, 2014

One Step Enough For Me

Lead, kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom; lead thou me on! The night is dark and I am far from home; Lead thou me on! Keep thou my feet; I don't ask to see the distant scene - one step enough for me.
~John Henry Newman
One step enough for me. Once that would have terrified me and I would have fought tooth and nail to see and know. But now, I trust. And I do, I do trust, wholly and completely. The Lord does lead me one step at a time. He give me just enough light to see the step I need to take, so I prepare to take that step. Sometimes before I even make the step, he sheds light on a step just slightly to the left or right of that step. Sometimes I actually make it to that step. Then, once I have taken the step he's shown me, he shows me the next step. I used to pray that he would illuminate the entire path for me. He did, and I felt trapped. I didn't want that path, I didn't make sense and it was confusing and wrong. But I had asked, so I learned to accept it. When I finally accepted it, he gently took me by the hand and should me one step on a different path. Still I asked to have the whole pathway illuminated, but the Lord is patient and wise. I had to be content with one step. I cried and begged and pleaded. Finally I humbled myself and trusted.
My mother always tells me that the Lord doesn't micromanage. I know he doesn't, and the Lord wants a people that don't have to be counseled in all things. But, I also know, that if we are paying attention, and listening for it, the small but significant choices we make can be guided. The Lord doesn't tell me what to eat or even tell me to read my scriptures every time I wake up. He has told me once, and if I want to prove myself to him I will doe as he asks me.
Sometimes I do ask for the answer over and over again because I just want to be sure I didn't get it wrong. Sometimes he is so patient and he tells me over and over. Sometimes he waits in silence for me to remember that I know the answer.
I could go on for hours. It sufficeth me to say, "One step enough for me." Lead thou me on.