"Being married won't make me happy. ... I once was happy but now I'm even more miserable. ... I tried, it didn't work. ... I don't want this. ... Socializing brings more pain. ... If I'd never asked her on that first date I wouldn't be hurting this much now. ... I don't see the point in reading my scriptures. ... Pain, suffering does cause us to grow. ... I don't want to grow. ... He doesn't want me to be happy. ... When I pray, I already know what he's going to say and I don't want to do it. ... I'm doing my calling even though I don't want it and I don't want to do it. ...I can find happiness in the gospel when I'm dead. ... I've already tried the best I can, I'm done. ... The more trying I do, the more socializing I have to do, the more pain I receive. ... I don't want to. ... I don't care if I'm happy or not. ...I always end up back here, unhappy."
It breaks my heart when I hear this, and right now my roommate is having a conversation with her friend over Skype and he has said all of these things. It makes me want to weep. People who say this don't understand the true beauty of the gospel and the Atonement laid out in perfect and incredible simplicity. These words come from someone who is suffering from hurt and the desire to escape the pain that came from whatever trial had happened.
The truth is, they do care about being happy; if they didn't care if they were happy they wouldn't pull away and guard their hearts so ferociously. But, the tragic truth they are missing is, the more they pull away and cover their hearts, the worse they will feel. Yes, heartbreak is incredibly painful and that pain is real. Pain is real. People will hurt us and it can be very destructive. But, all these people can see is the pain that comes from interacting with others, perhaps that is all they have known. But, if they would just take a small leap of faith, they could see the reward that comes from serving others.
No matter where else they turn or whatever else they do to fill the hole in their heart, it will never completely heal unless they turn to the Lord and to serving their fellow man. And I think everyone knows this, deep down we all know that we cannot be truly happy unless we turn to the truth. We yearn to be with other people, to be accepted and loved, to be told that we are worth it, our souls resonate with the truths in the gospel. Something deep inside us tell us the truth that we don't always like to face. And nothing else we try will fill the void in our souls.
Take advantage of the gospel and the Atonement! I promise, I promise! You say you've already tried that, but if you truly had you would know that what you had thought before was the cry of a desperate pained soul. If you truly tried to access the Atonement you would have felt the incredible and overpowering pure love of Christ and Heavenly Father. Charity and service are the answer. Amazingly and seemingly contradictory, the more charity you give to others, the more you are filled. And with charity comes happiness. Remember that nothing is instant and if it is, it cannot make you happy. Life happens and pain exists. Push through it, don't ever give up. If you don't believe me try reading the Book of Mormon everyday, praying twice a day, going to church, and take advantage of the opportunities for service that come your way for 60 days. If you miss one, don't beat yourself up, just pick it up. And when you pray, pray as though you expect someone to hear and respond, because, if you do, someone will listen and He will respond. He always listens and He always responds, maybe not on your timing, but He always responds. Try it.
