A Most Precious Gift

The most precious gifts I've ever received are not tangible possessions to hold onto. I cannot eat them, or trade them, or wear them. But they are gifts that shape my life, my soul, and my heart. They change my thinking, my perspective, and my dreams. Some times they are not noticeable, other times they are blatantly obvious.

All of my life I have been fearful, mistrustful, and closed off. Not many people know this because I hardly seem that way, and to a point I am not. I love to meet new people and make many friends, I love to share in conversations and discuss experiences I've had with people who've had similar ones. I love to have one on one talks about personal things. I love to be rambunctious, free spirited and wild, I love to say hello to random strangers and I believe that everyone is good until they do something to show me otherwise. All this is true.

And yet, there is underlying fear, suspicion, and blocked walls. They have been very hard for me to climb over and tear down because I have spent so long building them with such meticulous care. This year, however, that all changed. One person never pushed me to take down the walls, but I found myself telling him things I don't tell other people. I found myself being willing to trust him with more than I normally trust. I found myself bearing my soul to him and discovering that hadn't changed our friendship one bit. I found it easier to knock down the walls and show the most tender and scarred part of me, and I was never once pushed to do so. I found my fear disappearing with a simple hug, suspicion vanishing with a laugh, and the walls tumbling with cleansing tears. I found my steps becoming lighter and my soul floating.

It was as though I were a flower seeing the sun after a long cloudy winter. I had seen glimpses of the sun before and opened only to be touched with winter's icy chill, either by my own fault or the careless actions of others. So my outer petals grew harder and more protective, less willing to open. But, this time the sun stayed warm and winter did not brush my delicate inner petals. I allowed my plentiful colors to shine and everyone around me noticed the change.

I cannot tell you what this gift has meant to me. The giver of the gift has become the most important person in my life, the one I run to and share my dreams, whims, and ideas with. The one I trust my fears and my silly notions with. The one who makes me feel beautiful and special. The sun that illuminates the different colors on my petals.

This year I received the most precious gift and I will treasure it forever.