Ffffffff facebook

I have deactivated my Facebook account. For a multitude of reasons but what pushed me over the edge (after discussing it at length with certain people.) is the new profile. I felt uncomfortable that Facebook was pushing me to tell more about myself and make the intimate details of my life common knowledge. It broad casted my hometown and my work. And when I went to deactivate it showed pictures of me with other people and said "these people will miss you."

What a pushy guilt tripping.... So I have deactivated my account and now intend to walk away from it all. I hate being pushed.

A Most Precious Gift

The most precious gifts I've ever received are not tangible possessions to hold onto. I cannot eat them, or trade them, or wear them. But they are gifts that shape my life, my soul, and my heart. They change my thinking, my perspective, and my dreams. Some times they are not noticeable, other times they are blatantly obvious.

All of my life I have been fearful, mistrustful, and closed off. Not many people know this because I hardly seem that way, and to a point I am not. I love to meet new people and make many friends, I love to share in conversations and discuss experiences I've had with people who've had similar ones. I love to have one on one talks about personal things. I love to be rambunctious, free spirited and wild, I love to say hello to random strangers and I believe that everyone is good until they do something to show me otherwise. All this is true.

And yet, there is underlying fear, suspicion, and blocked walls. They have been very hard for me to climb over and tear down because I have spent so long building them with such meticulous care. This year, however, that all changed. One person never pushed me to take down the walls, but I found myself telling him things I don't tell other people. I found myself being willing to trust him with more than I normally trust. I found myself bearing my soul to him and discovering that hadn't changed our friendship one bit. I found it easier to knock down the walls and show the most tender and scarred part of me, and I was never once pushed to do so. I found my fear disappearing with a simple hug, suspicion vanishing with a laugh, and the walls tumbling with cleansing tears. I found my steps becoming lighter and my soul floating.

It was as though I were a flower seeing the sun after a long cloudy winter. I had seen glimpses of the sun before and opened only to be touched with winter's icy chill, either by my own fault or the careless actions of others. So my outer petals grew harder and more protective, less willing to open. But, this time the sun stayed warm and winter did not brush my delicate inner petals. I allowed my plentiful colors to shine and everyone around me noticed the change.

I cannot tell you what this gift has meant to me. The giver of the gift has become the most important person in my life, the one I run to and share my dreams, whims, and ideas with. The one I trust my fears and my silly notions with. The one who makes me feel beautiful and special. The sun that illuminates the different colors on my petals.

This year I received the most precious gift and I will treasure it forever.

Reasons

Reasons I LOVE my brothers.

Kevin: "Man, my stomach hurt during soccer practice, I was so full from eating all those snacks after giving blood."

Mom: "You're only supposed to have A cookie, A!"

Kevin: "I had to make sure that I replenished all the iron and stuff, You don't want me to pass out do you?!"

Alec: "You should be careful about having too much iron in your blood."

Tegan :"Yeah, you can't get rid of it every month."

Alec: ...

Alec: "I was going to say you don't want Magneto to come after you."

10 Hours of Overflowing.

I don't generally go to 10 hours of church, ever.

But, I had to go to my parent's choir practice (10:00 am) because they asked me to accompany a piece for them. I don't mind, really, I like to share my talents. So, because my mom was giving the lesson in Sunday School (12:00 pm) I thought I would just stick around for their sacrament meeting (11:00am) as well.

Of course the testimonies shared were uplifting and deeply spiritual. Three young children got up and shared their testimonies about how the church was real and Heavenly Father loves them. From the mouth of babe.

Of course my mother's lesson was amazing, she's an amazing teacher. End o story.

After her lesson I went to the Young Single Adult's sacrament meeting (1:00pm). The testimonies shared in that ward we just as pure and uplifting as in my parent's ward. The only thing I did not love about the meeting was the heat. Ugh, it was hot.

After this I had the happy fortune to teach the same lesson (2:00pm) my mother did! Imagine that! The Sunday School lesson was on Ezekiel, shepherds and the temple. Both beautiful topics. Surprisingly enough Mom came to my lesson too!

The final block meeting (required meetings of which there are three) was Relief Society (3:00). My favorite, I love meeting with the Sister's in the ward and sharing of their sweet spirits. I had the privilege to sing for that meeting.

After the block meetings was mission prep (4:15pm - 4:40pm) taught by an amazing spiritual giant.

After mission prep you say? Break the Fast! (5:00pm) Where the food is delicious and I don't feel guilty eating as much as my shrunken stomach can handle.

And as you know there was the First Presidency Broadcast (6:00pm), which was spectacular even though I dozed a tiny bit.

And after the Broadcast I practiced (7:00pm) a song for a meeting in the future. I made it home at 8:30 pm, happy to be home but refreshed and renewed none the less.

I wouldn't recommend 10 hours every week, but at times it is quite pleasant.